Thursday, September 29, 2005

Tomato-Tomahto

We have a wall, they have a rock. They have Mecca, we have Jerusalem...We fast one day for our sins, they fast forty. We pray three times a day, they pray five. They say layla we say laila. All this time we've been so close to each other...just barely missing collision. But guess what? This year it's go time!!!! It's going to be a BIG crash zone. Rosh Hashannah, October 4-5. Ramadan, October 5!!!!! So what do we do now? I've devised a plan. I say we start a new religion by creating a hybrid out of the two we already have. I call it...


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~>JEWSLAM<~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(There's definitely going to be an argument because of the fact that "jew" comes first, but it just sounds so good).

I figured it could be done two ways. We either amalgamate the religions to make one very big religions...or we add and then take the average. For example: 5 times a day of praying + 3 times= 8 times a day. Divide that by two, and now we pray four times a day, a perfect balance. In terms of central cities, we simply extract letters from the names of both cities, and then create a new one. Our central city of worship shall be...SALEM, MA!!! I can feel that peace tea brewing.


HAPPY RAMASHANA!!!

5 Shpeils

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Anonymous shual said...

Well, prophet of JEW[sun]SLAM.

First lesson for prophets is to wait for the message from above: http://home.ccc.at/heinzscs/sf2005r.jpg annular eclipse October 3. Then talk.

PS: 5 times a day of praying + 3 times= 8 times a day. [A large part of] Christians already should pray 4 times.

Thursday, September 29, 2005 9:01:00 PM  

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Blogger elder punk of zion said...

actually we have a rock too. underneath the dome of the rock is the "ev'n ha-shti'ya" which used to be in the holy of holies. anyways, regards from the holyland

Saturday, October 01, 2005 12:34:00 PM  

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Blogger D.B. Cooper said...

Jewslam sounds like a kosher WWE event

Saturday, October 01, 2005 8:14:00 PM  

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Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

MOISHELE! So nice to hear you commenting--how'd you get internet access, you troublemaker?

Saturday, October 01, 2005 8:18:00 PM  

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Blogger Neshekshemesh said...

I would say that the structure under the dome of the rock is more of a mount...A TEMPLE MOUNT!

Monday, October 03, 2005 10:39:00 AM  

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