Wednesday, October 26, 2005

What Simchas Torah Does

So here I am, a normal modern orthodox Park Slope kid, readying for Simchat Torah. I know I have fond memories of this special holiday, and I'm sure everyone else does too, but this year, I was with a friend in a new shul, so this was an experience in the making. I knew walking out of my house that it was going to be an interesting night. Little did I know.

First thing, I walk into my shul and there are hundreds of Lubavitcher guys in my shul. I thought I might have taken a wrong turn and ended up in Crown Heights, but alas, apparently the Chabad Rebbe said on the night of Simchat Torah, you should to go other shuls and spread the joy. So the festivities start off, I didnt' expect to drink too much. How mistaken I was!

The first guy I met owned a liquor store, and I actually promised him I'd stop buy and get some stuff from his store. I will keep that promise. So there the night starts, lechaim after lechaim, Ben (HalfricanAmerican) and I are slowly but surely entering the land of drunk. Hakafos continue, dancing, singing. I end up at the rabbis house eventually, and continue the singing and dancing. I proceed to do a couple lechaims with the rabbi (who now loves me). Eventually, we were going to head down to 770 Eastern Parkway to continue the festivities. We did, continued to drink, I walked a lot (there and back twice), and finally passed out in my bed. The next morning was interesting.

I was with my friend Shimshon (great name, I want that to be my first son's name) and we talked about the rabbi's daughter and him. She's pretty, but it's the rabbi's daughter! So it got me thinking about dating myself. He was ready to put in enough effort to date the rabbis daughter (who is definately some version of shomer nagia). When am I going to be ready for that kind of commitment?

I'm only 20, and that's still a little young to get married, but should I be looking out for a girl? I'm not too far off from 21, or 22 for that matter. If I met a girl in the next couple months, next year, would I be looking for a marriage or just some girl? I figure, what's the point of dating at my age if I'm not at least thinking of marriage. I certainly won't be asking anyone to marry me in the near future, but come on, I'm 20. What happens if I meet the right girl, the perfect girl, but I'm not willing to try because I mentally prepare myself to not be ready.

So I talked to my mom today, and she put it in perspective for me. She's against me marrying early (she herself married at 35). She's against me marrying early, she things 25 is a good age to get married, and I respect that. She's also looking out for my vest interests, and I'm very much like her in personality, so she said something that really put me at ease. She said that if I meet the right girl, nothing will stop me getting married, and she's support me whatever I do. She even said, under financial strain, she'd help while I put my life together if I get married before I graduate.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, so I see in my parents. It's hard, and there are certainly some rocky moments, but that's all a part of life. I have bad days now, and I'll have more, but in marriage you share those bad days with a partner (even if your partner if providing the stress). Also, the prospect of children is great. I'm a bit like Dina, i think kids are great, and if the circumstances were right, I'd get married and have a kid tomorrow.

So here I am now, with the green light from my mom. Am i ready to get married tomorrow? No way, but I think it's time I thought about where my future lies, and who I'm going to share that future with. Why close my options just because I'm young? If I meet the right girl, I'll certainly ask her to marry me.

Where will life take me, and who will join me?

1 Shpeils

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Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

I am all too inspired to make a singles ad for you...

Thursday, October 27, 2005 3:52:00 AM  

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