Saturday, November 26, 2005

kosher turkey and other matters

I don't really know why I've been neglecting this blog; it's like that guy you think is cute and who is into you and who makes so much sense but for some reason you just haven't called him back.

Hey, Punks of Zion, let's go out sometime....

Anyway, this Thanksgiving marked an important stage in alienating myself from friends and family: I didn't eat the non-kosher turkey. I had my fill of potatoes (sweet and mashed), of salads, of buttery mini-croissants, but that was it. And then I was busy falling asleep while my family drove from New Jersey to Pennsylvania to see even more friends and eat Hungarian pastries and pumpkin pie.

Then, this Shabbat, I did absolutely nothing. I mean nothing. I mean, it's past 10 pm and I haven't been outside nothing. I'm thinking about taking a walk after I post this.

See, everyone went home for Thanksgiving and all my shomer Shabbat friends stayed home. Even Rabbi Korn from NYU is out of town. And I could have gone to a friend's but I met with some friends on Friday afternoon--dear friends that I hadn't seen in over a year--and by the time I was done, Shabbat had started. My brother picked me up and we were driving to Manhattan and he joked, "Don't you have to get out of the car right now?"

Well, no. I don't have to. So I don't know. I'm disappointed in myself--does my celebrating Shabbat revolve only around my social life? But then again, I remember observing Shabbat one week by myself in the dorms, when I was on duty as an RA. It was really depressing.

I feel like I failed a test. God said, "Hey, Julie, let me take away all your social ties to Shabbat and see what happens." And what happened? I did nothing. What does that say about my commitment to Judaism, you know? Am I just in it to have something to do on the weekends? I know that's not true, but still, I can't shake my disappointment.

But at least I passed the turkey test, right?
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