Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Rabbi Showdown

So I was sitting here, reading my psychology textbook, studying for my test tomorrow, and I came up with one of the best ideas ever. Are you ready for it?

First, lets preface this idea. Recently, I heard about a rabbi's "ruling" on a certain topic, and I told my rabbi. He said he didn't know why, and said he'd call his uncle and find out, and if necessary, call the rabbi who made the initial "ruling". I thought to myself "Holy crap, are they going to have a rabbi showdown"?!

Needless to say, they are going to have one. And here's how it's going to work!

Firstly, lets get serious. No showdown is complete without a cage. This Rabbi Showdown is going in cage match style. Lets use fake names for now, we've got Rabbi Rubensteinberger (Rabbi R. for short) v. Rabbi Livshitzsteinerfarb (Rabbi L. for short). Yes, they are both VERY ashkenazi rabbis.

Rabbi R. enters the cage first, since he's the rabbi who made the ruling and he's "defending his title", so to speak. He sits down at his table, and in comes the challenging rabbi, Rabbi L. (the crowd cheers at this point, because the battle is about to begin). They each wip out their Chumash, and then comes the draft. The defending Rabbi R choses a tractate of the Talmud, and the Rabbi L picks two, then back to Rabbi R for a second pick, then they each make their final choices. They each come out with 3 books of Talmud to prove their case.

Then comes the really intense bit. They each get to chose a commentary of their choice, except Rashi, because he comes with the Chumah. Depending on what commentary they pick, they get a handycap. For example, if one guy picks Rambam, he's working on a pretty solid, widely accepted commentator, so he gets less points to start. If some guy pick the Satmar Rebbe, he's pretty contraversial, so you get more point for picking him.

So they've pick their books now, and they're ready to go at it. Whoever passes out last wins!

I can't believe I just reduced rabbinic discussions to something out of MTV... how sick AM I!?

6 Shpeils


Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

What was that Nukes, how tired are you? I don't know. But I do know that you're pretty nervy to cover my post with yours (although it's a really funny one). :)

Favorite line? "They each get to chose a commentary of their choice, except Rashi, because he comes with the Chumah."

I don't know just is.

Wow, my word is ndjdmjoo. Joo. Interesting.

Sunday, December 04, 2005 11:56:00 PM  


Anonymous VONBLVUENS said...

I will be there if free food is involved, and I will bring my SS pj\'s for the sleep over

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 10:19:00 AM  


Blogger Dream Girl said...

It's just a theory but maybe you're thinking about your future as a Rabbi. You are like: hey, I like this rabbinical stuff but it could be a bit more interesting.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 10:24:00 AM  


Blogger nyc pink fashionista said...

only you nukes, only you would be able to think of something like this. it's hilarous.

we can start fan clubs for each of the rabbis. you know, set up an internet poll where people can vote for their favorite. there'll be t-shirts, buttons, plastics braclets, etc.

OMG! I just tool nukes's idea and figured out a way to make a profit from it.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005 3:38:00 PM  


Anonymous mir said...

helen, you're a genius. but one question: will the tshirts be pink?;)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005 12:26:00 AM  


Blogger nyc pink fashionista said...

actually mir, I was thinking about making them in a variety of colors. the standard black, white, gray, blue, red, etc. Of course, this being me, pink shirts will be available.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005 3:24:00 PM  

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