Monday, September 04, 2006

lashon hara

working on the border of flatbush and boro park, has been quite culture shock for me. and as randy, shirly, alison, nukes, scott, and moishele saw today, i've had to change a bit of how i act and dress. alison and randy even took pictures* of me in my jewwear (including stockings!). nukes even commented that i had the proper number of pleats in my skirt.

i think working in this very religious community has in some ways, rubbed off on me. don't worry, i'm not getting brain-washed, but i have been definatly more aware about certain things. for instance, lashon hara. now, i'm the type of person who has no problem saying what i think. i think if you have something to say, good or bad, you should definatly say it to someone's face, correct? but definatly not go heind someone's back. which is why i was annoyed to find out that a girl in hillel, who i am not friends with in the slightest, haven't seen or talked to in months, was going around spreading rumors about me. not that they were good rumors. she was going around saying i "dropped out of school," and then laughing about it. i don't understand what was so amusing, especially since it ws a completely fabricated story.

i thought about telling her that unlike her, who has her rich parents to support her, i've been on my own since i was 16, and i pay for everything myself, including, school, my cell phone bill, health insurance, food, rent, etc. since i got screwed over in terms of financal aid (and no it did not make me feel any better to learn i was one of many who have had that happen to them), i just could not afford to go this semester. don't get me wrong, i do not resent the fact that i have to pay for things on my own at all. it has taught me how to be independent, and i do not hold anything against the people who's parents DO pay for things for them. glad they have it. but i do have something against JAPs who make up rumors, and then laugh at people who actually have to work for things.

but i decided telling her this was worthless. partly because there is no way for her to comprehend it. but mostly because i don't want her pity at all.

in the torah, there is a story of miriam speaking lashon hara, and getting "afflicted" with a skin disease, which our sages have determined was probably leprosy. fortunatly for this JAP, leprosy is non exsistant in the US. however, in the religious community, lashon hara is thought to be a sign of a poor upbringing, something as little as lashon hara can majorly hurt your chances of getting a good shidduch, or even any shidduch. while i don't think the JAP is going to be shidduch dating, ever, and while i don't agree with what most of this religious world has to say about things, in this case, they are pretty right now the money. unfortunatly for this girl, she has no manners, and is a case of poor upbringing, and i feel sorry for her, and everyone else who comes in contact with her.

as for me, i'm working very hard to not be the kind of person she is, and not speak lashon hara.

on a side note, the fact that i haven't seen or spoken to her in months and she finds the need to talk about me... i guess i should be flattered that she dedicates so much of her waking life thinking about me. especially since, with the excption of this, i haven't given her a second thought.

*for the pictures pleae ask randy or alison to post them.

**my argentinian blood has cooled some (but not that much), but the pavement beating shall be held off on until furth notice... or until randy gets t-shirts made.

2 Shpeils


Blogger Sherbert said...

yay you spelled my name right!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006 12:34:00 PM  


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