Monday, October 31, 2005

"This Marker was Designed Specifically for Dina-Throwing," He Said

Today I have uncovered a serious conspiracy...and it has nothing to do with Jews. This is a conspiracy far more complex and personal than any other involving Elders or the existence of Israel. This is a conspiracy by corporate America to keep me from purchasing material goods. And I have a feeling that my parents are behind them.

I went into Nine West yesterday and tried on an adorable pair of boots in my usual size 6. Unfortunately, the boots were too big and they were out of 5 1/2s, which is a size I do sometimes wear. So this morning (after withdrawing enough money to purchase the boots because my mother said that she wouldn't fund them) I stopped into the Nine West on my way to school and asked to try them on in a 5 1/2. When I say that my feet were swimming in them, I am telling you a great understatement. I probably wouldn't have fit into anything bigger than a 4.

Now, when I was younger, I was a 6. All the time and in every shoe. At some point, however, I started wearing 5 1/2s because they fit better in some styles. But I refuse to wear a 5. Either the shoe industry is progressively making their shoes bigger or my foot's been shrinking, and I since I'm "a growing girl" it must be them.

While I'm on a rant, I am going to bring to light another similar instance that I am realizing only now might be caused by the same reason. Due to my abnormally small face (not disproportionate, just smaller than most adults), the eye doctor bent the arms* of my glasses A LOT so that it would fit on my face. However, because it's an abnormal size, the only cases that can fit my glasses are soft leather ones. So I have a soft leather one. Only, it's getting a little old and starting to flake. There are tiny little flakes of maroon leather on all things in my bag and it's been getting on my nerves. I can't purchase a new glasses case, though, because they only sell cool hard ones...and my glasses are dorkily oddly shaped. Which is just another case of my parents arranging things so that I can't purchase something cool. I think. It makes sense anyway.

I need to stop procrastinating and actually write my story.


*Nedenah said it's called the arm, but she's very sick and will not be held responsible if this is wrong.

4 Shpeils

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Anonymous miryam said...

you spelled abnormally wrong. are you ok?

Monday, October 31, 2005 3:42:00 PM  

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guy who sold me my glasses, when I was like 8, told me the "arms" were called temples. That makes sense since the part of the head they are near is called the temple. Anyway, I just thought you'd be interested.
MT

Monday, October 31, 2005 8:40:00 PM  

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Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Pretty cool!

Thanks, MT. :)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 1:47:00 AM  

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Blogger Lost in Service said...

I have an old soft-pleather case from sunglasses i purchased. Since I don't are to use it, you can have it.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 3:28:00 PM  

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