Jewish Motherhood--Here I...I...want to come!!!

I lost it. I have completely and totally lost it.
I was watching a Sex and the City re-run the other day when the realization that I am insane hit me. After taking a tour of her mother-in-law’s garden, Charlotte meets her husband and they start talking about something or another. About five seconds into their conversation her little watch alarm goes off and she says, “ooh! Those are my eggs. I’m ovulating.” Or something along those lines, anyway. So, she and her husband had sex. Charlotte's me.
When I was younger, I’d walk around saying, “I want a baby. I want a baby. I want a baby.” This of course went on for years (12-16 years old) until my mother threatened to lock me in my room if I’d say it again. I still want a baby. I want a baby so bad that every guy I meet goes through the test in my head…

Potential Father Exam

Question 1:

Is this guy fun enough that sex with him for the rest of my life will be interesting?

Question 2:

Would I want my grandchildren running to this guy screaming, “grandpa/savta/zaide?”

Question 3:

Do I want my children to have this guy’s brains/middot/looks and would he sit and do gemara homework with my sons and learn with me on Shavout night?

Okay, so maybe I really only ask myself those first two questions, but that’s not half as intense as what goes through my mind when I pass baby clothes stores! As a matter of fact, just the other day I got hit with baby-itch (noun: an intense desire to give up your figure for nine months so that you can bring a child into the world who you will love, cherish, have lots of stress over, and get ugly veins in your legs from) so strongly I almost cried.

While shopping for myself (because it's still JUST ME), I wanted to look at some skirts hanging a bit to my right. I couldn't just walk straight there, though, because there was a woman with a stroller in my way. I walked around the woman and looked down at what were the four most beautiful, gorgeous eyes I had ever seen!!! THE WOMAN HAD TWINS! And they were amaaaaaaaaazing. Bundled up from hood to footy, the two babies were laying side by side. The only thing that outdid the adorablness of their cheeks that were puffing out over their coats, were their huge and shining and beautiful eyes! I didn't know what to do with myself. So I did what I always do when I find myself staring at the amazing miracle of a baby--I made faces. I know, I know, but I can't help it.

I want a baby.