Monday, November 28, 2005

The greatest game in the world(and how its ruining My life)

Warning if you value your sanity do not read this post...

Ok, its time to tell you about "The game". A few months ago I was about to leave the Hillel room when Nukes and Lorraine ruined my life. They told me about "The Game," and I swear I HATE THEM FOR IT. Here are the rules.

    1. If you think about the game you lose
    2. and you have to announce it by saying "I lost"
    3. Thats it...
    4. Thats the only rule
    5. simple right?
    6. WRONG

Now here is how it works you walk around and when you see somebody who, you know, knows the rules you're reminded oh that game, and you say dammit i lost.

But then it goes further than that you're sitting at home bored and you want to call your friends but you need and excuse what do you do you call Jimmy and say "I lost." and he laughs and you laugh and you both die a little inside.

Then your at dinner with family and you leave your phone in you jacket, when you get back to it there's twelve missed phone calls, three voice mails and a text message all of them saying the same damn thing. "I LOST" finally your at school the next day wondering why you couldn't finish your paper. You get home and look at your logs from the previous night and all of your Im's say the same damn thing "I lost lol," "I lost lol" "I lost lol" "I lost lol" "I lost lol."

Then you wake up and you realize your in the shower you've passed out and had a mild stroke (probably no in that order) There's blood trickling from your ear and you wonder where it came from? How could this happen to me I'm only 22? You ask. You then touch your forehead feel a post-it. You don't even need to read what it says.

The worst part is, you can't quit. Once you know the rules your playing. Everytime I think I'm out they pull me back in.After a while you stop answering your phone, or leaving the house. You buy cat after cat after cat, cause they don't know your playing the game and won't give your shit about it. Your a loser and that is what its all about, isn't it?

"The last words I say before I kick the bucket are going to be I lost."-Nukes

7 Shpeils


Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Sorry for your loss. HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA That's a pun and I didn't realize!

Anyway, I just need to explain to the public that this post is a personal account. I've been "in the game" since Spring semester last year and I've lost maybe four times. And all those times were because Julie or Nukes or Ben shouted, "I lost!!!" upon seeing each other.

So apparently, you can live after the game.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 12:27:00 AM  


Blogger Baal Teshuva Benny said...

Can I just say how grateful I am that the first Comment wasn't OH no i lost.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 12:31:00 AM  


Blogger The Nucular Jew said...

Firstly, i was going to say "oh, I lost", but I've lost within the past 30 minutes. That's the rule you forgot Ben, that you have 30 minutes to forget about the game.

Here's a scenario:
You're hanging out with your non-shomeret girlfriend, and you're hooking up after watching a mediocre movie (we've all done it). Then, in the middle of passionate kissing and touching, you stop, pull back, and gaze deeply into her eyes. You can't think of any words for the situation, except "I lost".

Here's another one:
It's your wedding day, and the Rabbi is reading the ketuba, and when you're ordered to take the ring from her pointer finger to her ring finger, you lose. It doesn't end there! When in Yichud room, you look at the ring and think "nice, I can't believe I lost at my wedding" and then you lose again!!!!!!

I'm going to lose 10 times on my wedding day, guaranteed.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 12:39:00 AM  


Blogger Baal Teshuva Benny said...

No, dude when I'm with a girl its all buisness. Thats right Its buisness time.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 12:43:00 AM  


Blogger XVI (R) - NY said...

This is all faintly reminiscent of the giggle-loop... you know that one? Where you're somewhere that requires absolute silence? Like the kaddish at a funeral? Or when you are being read your rights? So then, you think: "man, how much would it suck if i laughed right now?" and so of course you almost do, but you catch it. Then you think "oh shit... I really almost just laughed." which inevitably makes you need to laugh more, but you hold that bigger laugh back, which of course... well, you always laugh eventually. thats the point. And once you know of the giggle-loop you are perpetually IN the giggle-loop. have fun!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 1:25:00 AM  


Blogger L.Mo said...

"the game" has officially ruined my life. you know those fake IM conversations? the ones that are like, Hey, hey, what's up, nuthin u? nuthin...end of conversation? wel lthe new version of that is "i lost." "oo.i lose too." not to mention the texting, two second " i lost" phone calls, voicemails, hallway attacks...this is WAAYYYY out of control, you guys.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 2:04:00 AM  


Blogger Dream Girl said...

i'm using the game to ruin the lives of others.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 12:27:00 AM  

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