Monday, October 31, 2005

"This Marker was Designed Specifically for Dina-Throwing," He Said

Today I have uncovered a serious conspiracy...and it has nothing to do with Jews. This is a conspiracy far more complex and personal than any other involving Elders or the existence of Israel. This is a conspiracy by corporate America to keep me from purchasing material goods. And I have a feeling that my parents are behind them.

I went into Nine West yesterday and tried on an adorable pair of boots in my usual size 6. Unfortunately, the boots were too big and they were out of 5 1/2s, which is a size I do sometimes wear. So this morning (after withdrawing enough money to purchase the boots because my mother said that she wouldn't fund them) I stopped into the Nine West on my way to school and asked to try them on in a 5 1/2. When I say that my feet were swimming in them, I am telling you a great understatement. I probably wouldn't have fit into anything bigger than a 4.

Now, when I was younger, I was a 6. All the time and in every shoe. At some point, however, I started wearing 5 1/2s because they fit better in some styles. But I refuse to wear a 5. Either the shoe industry is progressively making their shoes bigger or my foot's been shrinking, and I since I'm "a growing girl" it must be them.

While I'm on a rant, I am going to bring to light another similar instance that I am realizing only now might be caused by the same reason. Due to my abnormally small face (not disproportionate, just smaller than most adults), the eye doctor bent the arms* of my glasses A LOT so that it would fit on my face. However, because it's an abnormal size, the only cases that can fit my glasses are soft leather ones. So I have a soft leather one. Only, it's getting a little old and starting to flake. There are tiny little flakes of maroon leather on all things in my bag and it's been getting on my nerves. I can't purchase a new glasses case, though, because they only sell cool hard ones...and my glasses are dorkily oddly shaped. Which is just another case of my parents arranging things so that I can't purchase something cool. I think. It makes sense anyway.

I need to stop procrastinating and actually write my story.


*Nedenah said it's called the arm, but she's very sick and will not be held responsible if this is wrong.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I Went to Claire's Today

I was driving along Route 202 today, trying to breathe in just how beautiful the mountains are in the end of October when my cell rang. It was my friend Miryam. "Hey Dina," she said, "I need to go to the mall to get a tiara today, wanna come?" I agreed to go and we set a time.

The two of us walked into Claire's for the first time since, oh...maybe 8th grade. I was on one side of the store looking through plastic headbands and sparkly earrings when the music changed to the next song.
Baby set me free...From this misery...
I stopped what I was doing.
I can't take this no more...Since you went away...Nothing's been the same...

I put the earrings I was holding back and walked up to Miryam.
"Mir--they're playing BBMak!"
"I know," She said.
"And we're in Claire's!"
"I know!"
I started laughing. She was already laughing. And when I walked away, she was singing along.

Until you're back here baby
Miss you, want you , need you so
Until you're back here, baby
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

BBMak. Their song made it to the Top 40s in 2000, but my friends and I were already their fans. When we were in 8th grade, my friends and I walked into the record store at the mall and found ourselves staring at three beautiful men on the cover of a cd. It was a single, really inexpensive, and we were 14 year-old girls with no or little concept of money. So we bought it.

As it turned out, the single was a pretty good pop song. And when BBMak became big (they were during their one-hit period), my friends and I already knew them. We were just that cool.

I wasn't in Claire's because my mother had only given me $50 when she dropped me off at the mall and hairclips was the easiest way to burn it. I wasn't 13. I was there with a friend who was looking for a tiara for her wedding. And there, in the middle of Claire's, with BBMak playing in the background, I felt all grown-up.

Quote of the Day: Animal Lover's Edition

On Being Attacked by Squirrels with Pinecones
"They actually had the state of mind to pelt us with weapons."
-Ben

Reason Number One to Move Out of Your Parents' House
"Shenanigans!!! My scorpion is not in the tank!!!! My mother is gonna kill me."
-Randy

Friday, October 28, 2005

GARBAGE TRAIN


So, Randy, Nedenah, Nukes and I were at the Hunter College Train station waiting for the "6" after a particularly exhausting night. I had noticed that we had been waiting for a longer time than usual, when I heard an awful sound. It was loud and grating and a little scary. I said "what is that?" Nukes calmy replied thats the Garbage train. Then I saw one of the funniest things in the world. This yellow monstrosity came lumbering down the tracks usually reserved for the "6." Upon seeing this sight Randy howled "GAARBAGE TRAAAAAAAAAAAIN." My mood quickly turned from frightened to goofy. For the rest of the night Randy and I with Nedenah in tow sang songs and regailed the tail of the humble yet massive garbage train (actually a maintenence vehicle) and all its good deeds. Bless you garbage train bless you.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My New iMac

So I got my new iMac today and what Steve Jobs described as "a fun little app" turned out to be extremely fun.
Its called photobooth, can you guess what it does?

Here's some pix that I took when Oleg came over [warning: retardation ahead!]:






Isn't it awesome?

Click here for the rest

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Skins and Fales

On erev Yom Kippur, The Fish Formerly Known as Phish died of indeterminate causes. The Fish had been in my care since about last April or so. I was upset, but I had two other fish. Then, right before Sukkot, Biscuit died of old age. I had Biscuit for nearly two years and I noticed that he got sluggish and sickly in his old age, so when he died, it was expected.
So it was down to just me and the Bull. The Raging Bull, that is. Now, I love the Bull and all that, but I felt a little sad that I had two empty fish bowls. So today I went to the fish store and got myself a couple more fish. First, because he gets seniority, is The Raging Bull:


The first fish I bought I couldn't resist because he looks albino. But then there's this beautiful maroon stripe across his fins...sigh...
(sorry about the glare in this one.)

And this one I needed because he's teeny!

So anyway, no names were coming to me (shocking, I know). When Randy came up with the most perfect names I'd ever heard. So now they are Skins and Fales. For those of you who don't know me, I tend to mess up my words all the time and for some reason, one of the mess-ups I most commonly do (among calling shopping carts wheelbarrows) is call fins and scales skins and fales. The albino is Skins and the teeny one is Fales.

:)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Pictures from the Matisyahu Concert

This past Thursday night, there was a Matisyahu concert at Hunter for Hunter students. The doors were supposed to open at 7 and the concert was supposed to start at 8. But, of course, since it's Hunter, the doors didn't open until close to 9 and even then, the sound check hadn't been done so we all watched it. :) Anyway...here're some pictures.
This is Ben before I figured out how to turn on my flash.
This is Eliana looking beautiful (I think)...also before I figured out how the flash works.
Doni, Randy, Tova, Eliana, and Ben. Yeah...we were bored waiting.
Eliana, Ben's hat, Doni, and Randy. Hi.
Yay! The concert!
And still the concert!
OmG, it's still the concert!
OmG, it's still the...no wait, that's...oh...nevermind. :)

Friday, October 21, 2005

An Ode to Lenny

Lenny is sooooo Lenny
If he were named anything else
His nickname would still be Lenny
Before he knew me He offered me beer
When he enters the room people will cheer
Lenny keep rockin', keep on rockin'

"Tramping" aka hitchhiking

I knew it would happen sooner or later, but yeah I lost my virginity...hitchhiking virginity that is. Scared you there for a moment didn't I? Well yeah, still no luck with those sem girls, although I came awfully close with a few MMY ones... on Yom Kippur. I guess you could say I didnt wanna piss off The Big Fella to much. As a side note for those who dont know, the only Mevaseret (my school)-MMY(corresponding girl school far-far away) event is Yom Kippur davening. If I've ever had my mind played with, that was it. I mean like who in their right mind throws 30 girls into an all-guy school on the holiest day of the freaking calendar? Fair to say I had a lot on my mind by the time n'eila (final yom kippur service) came around.

Anyways, back to hitchhiking. And for those of you who still dont get it, nothing of any sexual nature took place. Thursday of Chol Hamoed, I decided to do something other than sleep, I planned on going to the Be'er Sheva area to what was supposed to be a really cool air force museum - yeah im a nerd - and a tomato festival (my friends idea). So after taking a really late bus in and then waiting another hour plus for my friend to show its about four o'clock, much to late for the air force museum. So we go to this tomato festival which is supposed to be near by. turns out it like 45 minutes away past Ofakim (really funny name if you know what I mean), in some moshav called Chevel Shalom. Basically we take 2 buses getting there and eventually arrive at about 6ish. We procede to realize that the bust we took to the festival is also the last bus out of the area til the next morning. This information kind of ruins our tomato festivaling for the most part. Essentially it its either Tramp or walk, a win-win situation. So we're waiting at the entrance to the festival hoping that someone has the decency, not to mention insanity, to pick up a couple of stranded Americans. After deciding that we were gonna try to make the hour walk back to Eschkol junction (its dark by now), we get picked up by some kindly farmer.

After arriving at the junction, we get out of his pickup truck just as the the last bus from there to tel-aviv is pulling out. So after calling the bus company and realizing that in fact that bus was the last bus from the area, we kind of realized that we were going to have to hitchhike once again. Eventually a cool old guy in a nice sedan (dont ask me why hes driving a sedan in desert/farm country) picks us up and actually drives us all the way to Kama Junction which is right on the road between Be'er Sheva and Kiryat Gat, basically we wait for 15 minutes and pick up the 446 bus which got us to Jerusalem (actually Harel Junction for me, next to my school) in under 2 hours. So yeah I hitchhiked about 10 miles from the Rafah Crossing and lived to tell the tale.

To say that I accomplished what I was trying to, would be a lie. The Tomato festival sucked, but the subsequent adventure was kinda cool, especially in retrospect, I just hope my parents dont find out.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Old Pictures, Don't Know Why

I know the party was c. 1,000,000 years ago at this point, but I just got Ben's pictures and I love them and wanted to post them. But of course, I wasn't going to just post those few pictures, so I'm also posting some of Shirly's.
Lenny does karate. (S)Lenny blows shofar. (S)
Steve says, "hi." (S)
We play shesh-besh. (S)
We play and talk. (S)
Ian likes chulent. (S)
Ben's angle of us playing shesh-besh. (B)
finis.

Monday, October 17, 2005

On Loving Mr. Darcy and Having to Write

I don't know why I have this saved without a reference to the site I got it from, but alas, that is the case. Upon my fifth completion of Pride and Prejudice tonight (no, not fifth time tonight, just it happens to be that tonight was the fifth time I've completed Pride and Prejudice and this sentence's structure is poor), I have come to the realization that not only am I in love with Mr. Darcy, but that I will never be as proficient a writer as Jane Austen. Ever. That's okay, I suppose, since I don't plan on writing novels (ever), but regardless, it would be nice to think myself capable of such a feat.

Another thing I realized tonight is that hitherto I have been convincing myself that majoring in Creative Writing isn't as bad as it sounds because I am learning "a skill." However, it has occured to me both while reading Pride and Prejudice and at some point in my davening on Yom Kippur, that I am just being silly. Sometimes I imagine what I'd do with the money won from writing contests, but of course, I have yet to enter any. Other times, I like thinking about how much fun it'll be editing an essay with someone I admire (like a Ruth Reichl, perhaps?) once in grad. school, but of course, I have yet to attain my diploma.

And since this is making very little sense (I blame the late hour), I will stop rambling and end this silly, pointless rant that was intended solely to postpone writing my paper that is due tomorrow and write my paper. I do not even know what I've just written.


Sunday, October 16, 2005

Qotd

Dina: Lenny, this is a Public Service Announcement from me to you--ready?
Lenny: k
Lenny:
Dina: speedos are horrific
Lenny: hahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhhahahaha
hahahahhhahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahhhaahahhaa
Lenny: this is better than the ninja turtles telling me not to smoke
pot. but all that did was interest me how they rolled those perfect joints
Dina: HAHA
Dina: for real?
Lenny: yeh actually
Dina: WOW!
Dina: so am I like your Quote of the Day or osmething?
Lenny: if i had one, you would be

First post. I'll be contributing more. I'll make you proud.

--Lenny "Bruce" M.

P.S. Gotta fix up the CSS ;-)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Have a Meaningful Yom Kippur

Just writing to wish everyone a g'mar chasimah tovah* (although I have a feeling I'm saying the wrong thing)!

*This is a link to the most ghetto Dorkinsky Production you will ever see. But I can't be blamed, I had no time to give it--I'm too busy eating. :)

The Long Overdue Facebook Wall Etiquette Guide

As I have mentioned in the past, I hate the new wall on Facebook. Because of its format and look, people think it's a message board. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not. That's right--shocking as this may sound--The Wall is NOT a message board. To save myself a lot of explaining, I will just give you expounded examples.

Exhibit A: The Question
Dina, what does it say on the post-it? I can't make out the words.
This simply doesn't work because I will not respond to you on my own wall. So why pose a question? Now I'm left wondering if I'm supposed to violate Facebook etiquette and respond on your wall or in a private message.

Exhibit B: The Contributing Question
Yeah ... what is on the post-it. We demand to know, we're passing around a petition.
Hrm, interesting predicament I'm put in. More than one person has asked me the same question on my wall. Should I perhaps post a general message on my wall for people to read or simply reply to everyone on their walls or send out a mass message? Why do you do this to me?

Exhibit C: The Message Board
sweet.... im not the only one
No. Don't do this to me. My wall is not a message board. Really, it's not. It's for people to write entertaining things so that when other people read my profile they think I have cool friends. That's the point.

Exhibit D: The Wall Clinger
thats like the second picture of you mid-sentence. did i mention im one of your facebook stalkers?
Oh, darling, there's no need to mention it. I know it. I know it because you are every other message. That's right--every other message. Is it because you like seeing your picture over and over again? Is it because you have no greater joy in life than commenting on people's walls? I don't mind--you're a pretty girl, but please, tell me why you do this!

Which leads me into the next exhibit...

Exhibit E: The Picture Commenter
"thats like the second picture of you mid-sentence." did i mention im one of your facebook stalkers?
Why would you comment on my picture? I change my picture at least once a week. My wall, however, is there forever. You comment about a transient picture and my wall starts losing its sanity.

Exhibit F: Pictures
**I will spare you and not post an example**
Sure, trucks hit people in real life. Sure, teddy bears are cute. Sure, "ASCII porn" is funny to some people. But none of those--NONE--are worthy enough to take up five inches or so of wall space. Don't be obnoxious; yield wall space to others.

What does work then, you ask?

This works: Dina is by far the hottest girl in Hunter (no, Hon, I didn't say I got a pearl from Gunther), even if she still thinks I'm just her side-kick.
Note the writer's reference to something personal (my hearing problem). This is good.

This works:
I command you to abort Operation: Cupid’s Arrow! You are NOT a matchmaker!!! You just play one on DorkTV.
Note the writer's tone. It is one that works well for Wall comments.

This works: Dinasthecoolestpersonevereventhoughshethinkskentuckyson
theeastcoastandidahoisinthemidwest.
Note the writer's ability to seamlessly announce my coolness in the same sentence as a fault of mine (y'know, to make me seem more human).

And that is all I have for today's lesson.

(All Wall comments taken from real Facebook Walls!)

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Even My Friends Stalk Me Now!

Hi. I'm Dina, the ever stalked girl. Today's demi-stalker was from Fort Lauderdale (note to all future googlers of my name: leave a note! I know you googled me anyway. Thanks!).

Anyway, here I was minding my own business when this happened:

mo0k1e39101: Hey Dina i love your blog so much i figured this would be your screen name from the punks post
Me: hi
mo0k1e39101: how are you?
Me: doing well, how are you?
mo0k1e39101: i'm fine thank you

IM Steve with a pasting of the conversation so far:
Steve: weird
Me: I know!
Me: that's not even my sn on Punks, so this is def. a friend making a joke

Me: so, who is this?
mo0k1e39101: my name is pat
Me: hi Pat

Steve: probably
Steve: ask him if he's talking about the post like 3 months ago when u got this thing
Steve: remember that game the name of ure band
Me: that was on
my
blog, not punks!

mo0k1e39101: what r u up to?
Me: relaxing
Me: what're you up to?
mo0k1e39101: same here lol
Me: so, wait, how did you find my sn?
mo0k1e39101: what about me?
Me: pardon?
mo0k1e39101: really?
Me: Pat, I'm just curious to know how you found my sn
mo0k1e39101: im not that interesting, lol
mo0k1e39101: -:p
Me: sweetheart, you are not addressing my question
mo0k1e39101: whats ur name again?
Me: mo0k1e39101 (9:00:22 PM): Hey Dina i love your blog so much i figured this would be your screen name from the punks post
Me: you wrote that
mo0k1e39101: i dunno where i got ure sn, u were just on my buddy list... strange
Me: no, you know my name and you know my blog, so my name didn't just show up on your buddylist, right?
Me: so I'm just curious to know how you found it, that's all
mo0k1e39101: a friend told me
Me: oh, okay
mo0k1e39101: cool
Me: what school do you go to, Pat?
mo0k1e39101: I dunno about that one
Me: do you not go to school?


Steve: weird where is he from?
Me: don't even know
Me: it's someone's friend
Me: they must've told them to pretend to stalk me or something :-)


mo0k1e39101: me? no
Me: do you work somewhere?
mo0k1e39101: ahh... please dont talk about work lol

Me: who set this person up to do this? hahaha
Steve: give it another minute then block him

Me: hahahhahahahahahaha
Me: hahahahhaahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahaa
mo0k1e39101: yea...
Me: did someone ask you to pretend to stalk me?
mo0k1e39101: me? no
Me: okay
Me: so, Pat, do you have a blog, too?
mo0k1e39101: it IS o,k ha
Me: Pat?
mo0k1e39101: ;-)
mo0k1e39101: You have been talking to a computer! One of your friends is reading the whole conversation and laughing it up right now! GET EVEN! Have the bot prank all your friends by visiting imprank.ebaumsworld(dot)com

I am just too smart. And the person behind the "computer?" Steve.

Stop Stealing Words!

This is a Public Announcement:

Randy is a word stealer.
There are some words (e.g. shenanigans, 'tis) that he thinks he started. But the truth is that I've been using them for an infinity longer than he has.

That is all.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Shana Tovah

Shana tovah u'mitukah from all of us!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Shanah Toavah from the Holyland

So yeah, its me again, thought you could get rid of me didn't you? Well I'm back and holier than ever. well, sort of anyways, perhaps just wierder.....

The truth is that I would've posted earlier had it not been for the fact that my yeshiva has the worlds most annoying internet filter; thus far unhackable. In other words I only have access to a specified email address and a few select sites, none of which is blogspot.com

I have so much to say that I dont really know where to begin. In general though, so far so good. I get along fine with my roomates and all. The schedule is definitly tough especially coming from hunter college with all its free time. Shuir starts @ roughly 9 am and ends at 10 pm, with a few breaks in between. I'm learning three gemaras, not that I know what theyre called or anything, lol, jk. (2 b'iyun 1 b'kios) I am slowly picking up the material, gemara shuir is becoming interesting for sure, especially when I'm awake which hasnt been too often lately. I hate slichos, especially at 12:30 in the evening, it kinda shortens my sleep.

As for the gashmius, its pretty decent. We went on a tiyul to the Golan a few weeks ago, ever hold on to a thorn bush for dear life? Last week we had a shabbatone in the old city of Jerusalem. In truth this shabbatone requires a whole post in its own right, so im only gonna mention the highlights. We went to the kotel katan for kabbalat shabbat, where i think i took part in the most uplifting davening of my life. it was really something, we sang smack in the middle of the decrepit muslim quarter (nothing against muslims, buts its really dirty in that part). While dancing our way out of the muslim quarter i saw about ten of those heavily armed riot police running in the opposite direction from us. As I later heard from a friend (whom i have no choice but to believe), as soon as we left an old man was thrown out of the kotel katan area by a bunch of angry inhabitants. Supposedly some of the inhabitants were to trying to sleep at 7:30 in the evening. I dont really know what happened afterwards, but at least we didnt make front page headlines. As for more detalis on this interesting shabbat stay tuned for my next report from the holy land.

For those of you worried, I haven't flipped yet and I still do shower, at least for now.

Shana Tova to All

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